Battling Depression: The Criticism Disease

How many times have you looked in the mirror and told yourself: Ugh ?

OK, let's slow down: how many times have you done it today?

We rip on ourselves all day long. Some people, like me, do it out loud as a form of defense. I use self-deprecating humor to basically ward off people saying impolite things (I said it first, so it doesn't hurt).  But we all do it. If not outside, then in.

Partly, we in the US inherited our need to be busy from the Pilgrims. Puritans truly believed that idle hands were the Devil's workshop, and they stressed the importance of cleanliness and busy-ness, ideas that we now revere today. I can't tell you how many times I've heard visitors to the US remark about how obsessed we are about being clean and smelling pretty. This is not something every culture worries about. Many cultures prepare food with bare hands (yes, even in restaurants) and even eat with their hands. Americans, though, are repelled by this behavior. Hands are so dirty.

So in our culture, if we aren't busy, or cleaning, or busy cleaning, we tend to start yelling at ourselves. We "should" all over ourselves: "I should walk the dog, I really should iron those dinner napkins. I should clean out the gutters."

And it takes its toll. We're a very depressed people. Now, there are a lot of factors for depression, but this is definitely one of them and it gets the short shrift, so I'm going to focus on it. It also includes within it my #1 tip to abolishing depression: giving yourself credit.

I have and do struggle with depression my whole life. Yes, sometimes it is so bad I can't get out of bed. Yes, I've contemplated suicide on many occasions. Yes, it is a debilitating, serious disease. But there are two things that clear it up really quickly. 1: helping others. And 2: Giving yourself credit.

Since #1 involves being able to get out of bed, we focus on #2, which you can do in bed.

I've talked in my nonfiction book Talking Back (You can get it on Amazon/Kindle, too) about sometimes just needing a standing ovation for doing things like getting up in the morning. For someone who is depressed, that can be very difficult, indeed, and is worthy of some praise.

Now, since most of us are not rich enough to hire someone to give us standing ovations whenever we brush our teeth, I propose this: Be your own better-than-best friend.

Go ahead and give yourself a standing ovation. Or, in a much quieter version keep a journal, and leave the top half of every page to listing all the great things you did that day.

It sounds silly, I know. Maybe it is. But it works.

I do this every day. It's part of my Eudaimonia Project, yes, but I started it before then. I started it as a suggestion from The 4-Day Win by Martha Beck.

Give Yourself Credit.

It revolutionizes your life, if you do it. You can battle any terrible day by writing such mundane things as: Took a shower. Made myself a coffee. Made my husband a coffee. Packed a lunch. Walked up stairs. Smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Resisted biting nails for entire HR presentation.

Try it for four days, then comment below and tell me how it went. It feels silly at first, but it is such a mental health breakthrough, I am sure you'll love it.  This is absolutely, hands-down, the easiest and quickest way to turn back the depression tide for me. Of course, helping people is the only way I know to beat depression, but giving yourself credit will turn your day around every time.